Whatever could it be that has brought me to this loss?

Monday night, work first thing tomorrow, an early, cold and crowded start to the day as I track from home to London's city centre. I wonder what the day will bring, or the week for that matter. Each seems to surprise me in different ways. 

Its been a nice weekend at home. It helps me to feel a little less lost, sometimes a little more lonely, but at least I've a few irons in the fire. Lee appears to have taken heed and is now making efforts to text me with lil updates, I wonder if it'll continue. I hope it does but I am doubtful. I do really like him, but I wonder where it's going, what he wants and what his expectations are...I should ask but I'm too scared. 

Hopefully on Saturday I'll be meeting up with a promising individual which I vowed to be my last from that website. I feel I need to stamp out the addiction and stop adding new potential chaps into the equation, distracting me from perfectly fine ones in front of me. I really like him a lot already. He said he'd love to meet to watch the movie I've wanted to see for ages, go for a bit of coffee before hand, I'm really excited. We've so much in common it's unreal, he seems mature and interesting and I just can't wait to meet him and see how I feel when I'm standing next to him. I usually can't deny the first impression electricity or lack of it, who knows, maybe I won't sense it at all. But then, that wouldn't neccaserily be a bad thing. Just know to leave it there and move on from it all.

The new year is fast approaching, and I know that come 2015 I want to settle down, I don't want to be faffi around like I have been for the past couple of months. No. I feel I've reached my limit and soon will have had enough. I want to commit, to Lee, if he's willing, or perhaps to Dan ( a new one!) if things go in the right direction and if that's what he's looking for too of course. Maybe not, God, who knows. 

I'm so tired, I going to have to sleep. But I'll hopefully update tomorrow on the train.