Working on myself. Working on the dream

I sit in the sun, basking in the gloriousness that is today. 

Last night was awful. I cried and cried, like I haven't done for a very long while. But today, I feel better for it. 

I've decided to try and do things differently and work on myself more. In trying to eat better and becoming fitter, not only will it keep me occupied and I can focus all these busy thoughts somewhere, but it will hopefully make me feel more healed. 

I was calling joe and I just wanted to be back with him, like we were before. The regret kicked in and then I just couldn't contain myself anymore. But now I feel like, although that was what happened I guess it needed to happen too. I should stop with all these guys, drop them all in order to think about me first, sort my shit and get my life in order first. Then, who knows what will follow...