Relinquish the control

London on a Sunday is an almost spooky atmosphere, like some sort of night invasion came suddenly in the night, whisping people away mid swig of beer, wine, smashed glasses and takeaway packaging lining the gutters, a very sorry state.

Work today. I say to myself I'm not looking forward to it, but at least I'm getting some money in and it's not as long a day as it usually is. I've things to think about and mull over anyway, like;

-the fact I've been the largest I've been in a long time, I feel wobbly and heavy, I even have boobs which I didn't have before...and liked not having! 

-the film I watched last night, a very intense story about police and child protection in France, it really made me feel very emotional.

-mine and olives venture to Brighton yesterday, dispite the forecasts rain, it turned out to be a lovely sunny day.

- how, life really isn't all that bad at the moment. Yes, my job is shite and it hardly pays me at all and it's long hours surrounded by people I cannot stand. But hey, at least I'm getting the hours. If it's a job that's a career move that I'm working towards, it's going to take a while but it'll be worth the wait. 

Sigh. Better get used to feeling hungry. 

It matters to me. It doesn't matter to Olive, but I have to relinquish some sort of control in my life and I need to get back to where I was...