Can't live on air

What will today bring I wonder. 

The doors are open and warm, perfumed air rushes to my face as I sit in the sun and attempt to contemplate. 

A Easter venture home was nice, was great to catch up with the family and touch base. However, it gives me time to dwell and reflect upon things I don't much want to. When I'm alone, I miss him. 

Now I know to some extent this is to be expected, we were together a long time and he was a big part of my life. I always seem to forget the reasons for our break up and why I did it...but I know I'll feel that way again if we did get back together, not saying we would. 

We talked for an hour on the phone, just catching up on things, making each other laugh. I think I'm going to meet up with him tomorrow. I know it's probably not a good idea, but I just really need to see him. I need to feel what I feel when I'm with him. 

Me and Olive are going so well, and when I'm with him I simply forget all my worries and woes. He wants a future with me, see the world and take care of me. I'm really falling for him. But it's not yet filling the void of missing someone. But it will if I let it, finally let go...

The sunshine is warming me, it's too nice to be back in this blasted building, I've updated the CV, the cover letters, now is time to start firing it off out there. Because my current situation is in danger if I don't, I can't live off nothing...