So, I think I've decided that I won't go for the house. Which means that me and joe may be no more...I feel so heavy, sad and upset. In facts word even describe how I feel right now. But i know that this is probably the best decision, because it just wouldn't be fair to be there for a year when my heart isn't truly in it...I love you so much I can't believe it's come to this, you are my life and my best friend but you deserve someone much better than me...