Heartbreaks and set backs

Here we are again. Sitting on the train again waiting to get transported to another destination, but not home. Always somewhere further than that. 

New year, will 2014 be my year? What will it hold in store? 

The festive period is over now and people are back to their daily grind and tomorrow so will I. Back to the place I was counting down the days to leave. I would just love to be off for another couple of weeks, catch up with friends and do something creative, look for a new place perhaps. But then, you need money to do those things and I do need that. It would be irresponsible of me to just jack it in because it isn't perfect. Sigh. When will that opportunity come along? 

At least I've only tomorrow and then a couple of days off, and hopefully they won't be the same shifts as the rubbish ones I had before. It's only going to be a month, I hope. Maybe I'll find a new job by then. 

I've had a lovely couple of days with joes family and do feel sad to leave. I feel sad for a few reasons. That I still don't really know what I'm doing. I need to find a new place to live for us both, but now it's really come down to it I'm wondering if it's a good idea. The place I looked at on Sunday was a massive room, there was nothing wrong with it but it just didn't grab me. It felt like many people have passed through its doors, it was sterile and clinical. So I'll iust keep looking. I think I need to tell the girls what's going on, so at least they know. And just lay it all on the table and see what they say. 

Why do my eyes keep searching? Am I happy? I thought I was...