Resolutions and slipstreams

It's so nearly 2014. This blog has helped me see in many New Years, recording all my proposed resolutions that usually don't make it past the 5th of January, my hopes and ambitions. Maybe a few regrets too, although I generally feel that although I've made a lot of bad decisions it's all made me who I am today and as much as I irritate myself, I can't be regretful of that. 

One thing I really do hope for 2014 dearly is a generally more settled year. I want to do far less moving about, jumping from job to job, house to house. I want everything to just be a bit calmer. That's my main resolution I think.

And in that vein, to spur the change, tomorrow I'm going to look a new house. Sigh. The girls don't know this yet, and in not sure when I plan on telling them but for once I do feel as though I have the upper hand to an extent due to what thy told me and the reality of it. It's just a shame though.

So we'll see what it looks like but I'm not overly picky, as long as it's safe and I can lock my room and it's not too far from a station. 

As these things change I can't help but think about how all of this is really going to pan out. I have cold feel about joe moving in too, I think it's largely because he's not at all confident about the situation and he's so comfortable where he is and I don't want to make him move. It's just making me think about our future and it's freaking me out a bit. 

This has also come along soon after talking to an old flatmate from Uni, who always makes me feel like I'm right back there again. It's funny because on paper we're an unlikely combo, I would never has thought he'd want to actually be friends with someone like me but we do get on really well. I look up to him in a funny sort of way, he's life is just so bang on track. He got a great degree, he's got a great job, great car, saving up for his own place, looks after himself and is genuinely a generous and funny person. He's perfect really! But I don't think I'm his type, me being too muddled up with so much uncertainty. It always surprises me how he's not with someone but I think it's all just apart of his game plan. But he's been telling me that I've been feeling like this for a while and as unpleasant as it will be at the time maybe it's for the best if I break it off...but is it reason enough? Is that even what I want to do? I don't know. It's just when someone comes along and I spend a lot of time with them I can't stop imagining what it might be like...and that surely can't be a good thing can it. 

But I can't wait to see him in the new year. At the moment we're emailing each other great paragraphs of text, I just would love to know I maybe he's curious like me too! but what would I do with that info if he were to divulge it? I don't know.

Well after a bit of a long morning I'm heading back to cambs. I'm not sure how I feel at the moment, about anything. Frustrating. I can't help but think about next year and I who I want in it with me...