'Your choice was right'

Scatterbrain.

I am a complete mess. My body is slowly unwravelling, losing it's ability to carry out normal procedures. My mind is cold and numb. My eyes still search, on the brink of tears but never emptying. I don't know what I'm going to do.

So, I'm just going to empty out my thoughts.



I am not a bad person. But something has happened or is happening that's making me do these bad things. It's not as though I do them without realising and then see it for what it really is, no. I know it going in and carry on. I was so close to calling it off the other day, I sent the message, got the response I wanted, was ready to try and get back on the right path again. But I went ahead anyway. I don't understand what it is that keeps making me do this. I am at a really low point in my life, and I'm doing things that could potentially make it a hell of a lot worse...

Is it that really I want to start all over again?

I worry that I'm falling for him...but then, I think I'm just confused :( He doesn't want to see me until I have things sorted out, which is fair enough. But what does 'sorting out' entail?