We can hear the passing of time

I'm on my way to see another old friend. I am both nervous and excited about this because although it's always a delight to talk about times gone by, I also feel that many friends have gone in different directions to me...some not so great. It leaves me feeling a bit distant, and very aware of time passing and life's various vices and how at the moment, I'm lucky to have dodged a few of them.

I hope he hasn't gone a similar way. If enjoyed this journey so far, it's not my usual route and I enjoy things not being so familiar. I'm a little worried that maybe when we see each other we'll have nothing to talk about, it's not my usual style, although I certainly have come across people who have stumped me and I'm at a real loss of words. I wonder if I'll feel like I'm 18 again, I hope I do. In truth, when we lived together it wasn't a very good time of my life and i distanced myself from him as I knew he wouldn't approve of my decisions. So I'm also a bit worried that the feelings from that time may return too. But really I'm hoping to get a bit drunk, maybe play some games, laugh about some of the silly situations I've found myself in during the past couple of years because there certainly have been many of those! And just relax I guess.

I'm counting today and the weekend a treat to myself as as soon as I get back I'll be applying to jobs like crazy, and I need to that without distractions. But I'm feeling good about it all, the time is now! 

I saw one of my old best friends from secondary school a couple of days ago which was just lovely. We just clicked straight back together again like no time has passed and it's so nice I still have someone who I can connect like that with. I hope we'll always be friends. It made me feel sad to know that she's moving away, a lot of her past relationships blew up a little bit and she has a few regrets. Now she finds herself enjoying times with a drug dealer, which I dont really approve of but she's just looking for a bit of fun, and he seems to be giving her that. I just hope she doesn't get too tangled up with him because it could be very dangerous from every perspective. But we'll see! 

I wish I could control this anxiety I have at any chance, it's not very comfortable. Sometimes I think I should go to a doctor about it but then the feeling keeps me on my toes and I've had it since I can remember so I guess it makes Me Who I am.