'And I'll be holding all the tickets and you'll be owing all fines'

I feel sad leaving again. Although I didn't get everything I wanted to do done, it did me good to spend some quality time with the family. I'm lucky to be living so close by, enough to feel my own independence     but can pop back when I feel the need. I've felt it more lately, I think it's because I feel a bit of change in the air and need some advise as to what to do next. 

On Tuesday I felt pretty low, I'm not quiet sure why, maybe it was because I was alone. I used to be used to my own company, but lately I've found myself to be a bit negative. I had a big list of things I needed to do and everything I attempted just didn't end up panning out the way I wanted it to. I planned to get applying for jobs, sorting out my images, getting a bit of perspective and a plan organised. Instead I spent a good deal of time procrastinating, filling mum in on the minor details of my life recently, eating proper meals and watching comedy series. Now I look back, I see how it really needed to be done, but at time I felt so guilty about it which kinda spoiled it. 

We talked about the big picture, what I wanted to do next with jobs, family and the possibility of me starting my own. My brother and me also talked about similar things, as well as university and my wisdom on the subject! He's leaving next week, I think I might go and help him move in, work permitting. I'm really excited for him but it definetly brought up memories of my anticipation this time five years ago. How different it all was to how I first orgianally thought it would be! But he'll take it all in his stride I'm sure, will be a great success! 

I wish I could say the same for me at the moment. I definetly feel a bitter taste from my current work situation, I don't mind putting up with a certain amount of crap but it's getting to the point now where it doesn't feel balanced and for my own sanity I need to get out of there. Before I felt the same but the timing didn't feel right, but now it feels different and there's change in the air and I'm ready for it.