'One day, we're going to live in Paris'

I remember sitting at this station waiting to be taken in the opposite direction towards the coast, to my old school. I would have my bag packed with sketchbooks, papers and journals dressed in some sort of desperate, unique (but dressed like everyone else) get up, worrying about friends and potential boyfriends. Ah, I did okay, I got through it. It makes me smile to see that my brother is going through the very same thing at the moment, although he's a lot more mature than me, or certainly more than I was then. To think I was with Ben when I was 18...4 years ago now. And I still think about him! So long ago to. 

Bless my brother, I think he will really become himself at Uni, really grow into himself like being independent helps you to do. He admitted to me yesterday that he was bisexual, which he was clearly quiet worked up about. I felt proud that he told me first, but for some reason not surprised, because I don't think having mixed feelings towards either sex is that unusual! I would probably put myself on the scale somewhere. All of that being said though, I'll support him whatever he feels strongly about. And, at his age I'm sure, he's got a lot going through his mind. I said that when he gets to Uni he can almost start again in that sense, he can experiment and choose to be as open about it as he likes, which I reckon will soon help him determine if it's a phase or something that lies a lot deeper than just curiosity. 

I am a firm believer in the fluidity of sexuality, how I don't really think it's a case of 'either or' and thankfully, the times are changing and the world is slowly accepting that to be a perfectly fine way to live your life. Why should any of it matter, or bother anyone else? 

I guess it interferes with people's strong views on religion. How it doesn't procreate, I suppose. But surely, if there is a god (or gods,) if you live your life happily, not hurting anybody in the process, why should it offend them? I remember goldfrapp commenting on the subject, saying that she didn't look at it that she was in a relationship with a woman, but that she had fallen in love with a wonderful human being that happened to be a woman. I like that. 

My mum has been inspired by my photoshoot day and the images I got from the day, which means such a lot. I like that she's excited about them, so much so she thinks we can make them into scarves and dresses. Well why not? Give it a go! And it's all stuff I can put towards my portfolio and skill set, hopefully get me closer to where I want to be! She's a great communicator and certainly a leader to me, so I know that she'll motivate me, get me into gear. It does mean however, that I'll need to stay at my job to help fund it all! Well, I do need to be sensible. 

I messaged an old tutor of mine the other day, Jenny, who really helped me in my final couple of months. I thought now I had some good images I had something proper to show for the past year! She really liked them, and will help me give me feedback on my lookbook, when I finally get it sorted! I need to do that sooner rather than later. 

So many things I want to do, so many things I need to do. Ah. I want to go on holiday...I want to go to Paris!