"Your first love misses you"

A Postsecret that struck another chord with me. There's always one within the batch of weekly updates that stays with me somehow, each with a different story and meaning behind it. But I was just thinking then, who wouldn't want to hear that said to them? Even if you're in a new phase of life, or maybe things didn't end so well at the time, it's always nice to feel missed.

I've been reading up lots on Freddy Mercury recently, I'm not a massive Queen fan but you can't help but know a few of their hits and they always seem to cheer me up if I'm feeling low. But I always found him a fascinating individual, fantastic musician and a real showman. But it all happened just before my time so I felt now was the time to find out a little more. When I see old footage of him entering these enormous stages, delighting all fans who shriek and shout I can't help but be a little envious of where they are, and the era's where so many new things were happening with music. A lot of terrible things were going on in those times and I'm glad I'm not living in those times, however it must have truly amazing to witness such incredible energy, sounds, riffs, trends that had never been before. He was so charismatic and charming. Although terrifically sad, he was so inspiring. He knew exactly what he wanted out of life, what he wanted to be and that he would get there, so much of your fate depends on the confidence you have in yourself...

I still feel a little lost. A little while ago I wrote about how important it was to keep all the plates spinning, keep nudging things along making sure you keep in touch with everything. A couple of days ago it finally hit me that, I dropped one of the plates. And the most important, prized one. I kept my eyes off it for a little while and I lost my chance. I hope it hasn't smashed, but I fear I could be gathering up the shards for a little while before I get it repaired and back up there spinning again. I've got the feeling that I need to voluntarily put another down for a while so I can give it the time I really deserves. Maybe I should stop talking about plates!

I've got a few things planned in the next couple of weeks which should hopefully get me feeling a bit more in control of things. I've invested in a few nice books to help give me a bit of guidance, and maybe soon I'll get the courage to get out of my current job situation to pursue what I really want to do. It will happen, it has to.