"How much will you indulge your flaws? What are your flaws?"

When I have a couple of days time out, everything catches up with me and I get these powerful headaches that send me to bed early. Last night, I decided it was a good time to watch 'Girl, Interupted' and I dreampt of the sereal. I awoke with a worrying thought that struck my mind - that one day, I will die. And there will be no more of me. My mind overlapped with itself, tumbling thoughts and questions echoed around it, with nobody to answer them. I calmed when I realised that everyone asks these questions, and it's as though when you understand that nobody really knows what happens, you just have to try and forget about it until it dawns on you next time.
To think, that one day, my mind and thoughts won't be anymore. I won't be who I am now. And life will go on without me. I'm not afraid of death, but I am upset by the idea that maybe I'll be faced with pitch black and there will be nothing. Nothing. What even is nothing, if you're not here anymore. Will I live a new life? knowingly? Be a different person as me? Surely not, because if thats the case surely I was someone else before me, so I would be thinking about my past life today. I still want to think and see things with my eyes. I hope I can watch my family from above, I hope I won't be physically apparent, but in spirit. Ah, I want my spirit to be free. When I think about these thoughts, every little worry seems to small. I laugh at how rediculous my worries are about work, about appearance, money. I realise how important children are, they are the only parts of 'you' that you leave behind.