19.7.13

sandy shores where we leave footprints in the sand

It's been a while since I've been able to find the time to catch up with some thoughts of mine. I would normally assume that to be a good thing, but actually I think I've felt sadder because of it. I don't honestly feel like things are heading in the right direction at all, I feel like I'm in a worse situation than I was before...

It just goes to show that not every decision you make is the right one sometimes. However, do I regret it? No. Because before my main objective of the job role was to be a salesperson. At least this time around I'm doing something I'm actually not bad at, but it's long hours and unpredictable shift patterns make it hard work. It's a shame I don't have such a good repore with the team who work there also, I feel there is a definate language barrier I won't be able to get around. It's just all a bit embaressing. This time last year I had it all ahead of me. Now, I feel like I've missed my chances.
Really, I just want to run away from it all, but I know that's the way I always feel in situations I find hard to cope with and need to stop the habbit of jacking it in when I get cold feet. Sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and carry on, get something better lined up, which I truly believe I can do if I put my mind to it, - which requires time and energy that are currently being eaten away by my situation at the moment. Urgh.
Got to keep trying, keep plugging away, keep my eyes open. Keep positive. Try my best.

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22.10.24

Trying to hold it together, trying hard not to cry. Nothing has happened, it's just I feel very overwhelmed. Tired, deeply tired, to my ...