I am still the person I used to be

Sometimes you can get so wrapped up in your own little life you can easily miss some of the most fundimental and important things, which can really take you by surprise when you realise them once more.

Today could have gone a lot better, but when on the train hurtling towards home I found myself lost in thought looking out of the window, enjoying some peace and quiet in my mind. Although there was a big part of me fighting back the panic of where it was I was going with my life, a piece that usually remind silent kept it all at bay. Until I got home anyway. 

Sure, things are a little disorganised, and I'm not exactly where I want to be. But am I happy? I'm certainly not depressed, and sometimes I don't think I'm actually as sad as I think I am. I just overreact a little at a slight blip on the radar when I'm expecting miles of smooth sailing. I'm extremely fortunate to have any job at all, a roof over my head, the warmth of family and the security of a person who I've been with nearly 4 years and can confide all my worries and thoughts. I also have a future, one that I shape every day and by trying my best in any situation is all I can do to try and get things on track. Because things won't be like this for much longer because I won't let them be. Sometimes I know I've got to step up and give things a push because they won't do it on their own. I've just got to believe in myself and know that I'm doing it because I believe it's reasonable and right. 

And for sleep. I hope I dream another wonderful dream where I feel young and free and on adventure...