It's all or nothing; with all going on around me and I feeling nothing towards it all...

I just feel like at any moment I could collapse into tears.
I just don't know where this has all come from,I was fine last week,nothing drastic has happened...I just think I may have reached my limit. I feel usually I can roll with a punch,put a positive spin on things when the going gets a bit tough.But recently,I've lost all of that.Every negative thing that occurs during the day feels like it gets me right to my core, and like nothing good will ever happen again.I know that's a ridiculous thing to say,and unfortunately I seem to be having one of those down weeks.Maybe Karma is having it's way,coming back around to me. Sometimes you need the bad to weigh the good.
Time doesn't ever wait for you to get your bearings,it just keeps on going whether you're ready or not.

I've spent a lot of my free time absorbed in my designs,which are painstakingly slow to create.My ears are absorbed by mellow, sad music where usually I find I like to listen to upbeat tunes. I've even found my urges to be social dwindle, and trying to be more fit and active has also taken a downfall. I'm never usually like this for long, but this time around it feels more serious. I'm a job I can't stand and don't really see much way of getting out of, I live in a tiny cramped house in a place where nobody knows me and the job I want to be doing is more cut-throat and time consuming than ever. My body can't really take much more of this stress any more,and I feel that soon I will need some time away from everything...just take me to the sea.Where the waves lap at the shore edge and the small stones crunch beneath my feet.Where I can sit and feel safe just looking out for ages, the seagulls diving and darting and dogs playing in the water. I suppose I'm there in my mind,anyway.

Joe's going home for a couple of days,which kinda leaves me home alone.His brother is around,but I don't think he'll do much interacting with me.My family are coming up for a gig on Monday which I'm looking forward to,it's just before then I'm worried about getting the time off to go to London to hand over designs they probably won't like,to then rush home to have blood tests which make me feel very odd...I'm going up north next weekend to see some Uni friends which will be fun.It's just all or nothing at the moment; all things going on around me and I feeling nothing towards it all.