Submissions

Sometimes I wish I had a second, secret life. One filled with sexual delight that nobody knew about but me, where I could have a brand new identity which was actually the devious side possibly the more dominant side of me that's screaming out! I pick up books off the shelves of stories or biographies about these ladies who had double lives being both bankers and prostitutes, as daft as it sounds, I always feel a bit envious as I flick through the pages. Indeed I know it's a reckless career choice which is potentially dangerous and considered quite tacky, which is why I'll probably never experience anything even close to it. Plus as its far away from a settled family lifestyle with security as it could get! It's like I'm bring tugged between the two. Because my mind always wonders, as I scroll through exciting images, how much fun it looks and how life is just too short. I just miss having that sort of fun, that passionate 'can't keep your hands off each other' time which seems to vanish so soon. But then, maybe it doesn't with the perfect couples. The thing is, when passionate times with one may be perfect, they fail on the arguably more important areas of the relationship such as trust issues, communication problems and personality clashes. And I feel lucky that I don't have hardly any of those issues now, I just think we could do with some sort of councilling in the area, because we're just stuck on a loop of the same routines. I'd love to be able to tell him honestly all these things,maybe I will one day, get really drunk and just tell him to do it. But I don't want to weird him out...I think it would make me feel more confident in myself, though. In the past where the sex was undoubtably good, I had no body hang ups at all. But now I don't really have a lot of love for it at all...I'm not sure how long I go on keeping it in!