I've been up for days, trying to find a way to write this confession down...

I never thought I'd say this. But my god do I miss having time by myself,in my own surroundings with music in my ears and just time to listen to my thoughts. I can't hardly get any privacy these days, which is annoying in many levels. This house is just so crowded and I need to breath. I feel like this could all just collapse in on me, it's been another one of those testing weeks. And for the first time in a long while I've actually found it a struggle.

Thank goodness for my family is all I can say, especially mum who really helped me out with art relate problems when I hit a design block earlier this week...why do I put myself through all this stress, will it ever be worth it? Going back to work has just been so depressing. Because its so unfulfilling. I'm not working to my potential and the boredom is close to sending me over the edge. And yet I've got this enormous pressure to stay, with my manager having a baby soon, hormones flying all over the place and a stressful work related months coming she doesn't want me to leave, but I've started seriously applying for jobs and I really want this year to be a good one, not wasting away doing something I don't like.

Let's hope this week will get better...I guess I'm the only one to encourage it and I know this entry hasn't been the best attitude. Sometimes though, I just want someone to take care of me. I'm fed up of always being the one to do everything...