Conundrum

It's been another one of those days. Where I just don't feel like we're on the same page. I wish there was something I could do to help, but everything I seem to suggest makes it worse, he takes it the wrong way, makes him feel hurt, offended and inadequate. It's like treading on eggshells. I dread any sentence that starts with 'I don't know where I'm going with my life...'
It just makes my heart sink. Nobody knows what's going to happen tomorrow, and it is a scary thought, but ultimately, you only have today. Fretting over the future only wastes time and digs you in a deeper hole. I'm aware this might be a bit ironic, coming from someone who's always talking about fears for the future! But, I'm sure to never unleash it onto others, and bring down the mood. I guess he just lacks a positive perspective when the going gets tough, and these times are getting more and more frequent. Everything I say seems to go over his head. I always try and encourage him and support him in any way I can, but me doing that seems to drag him down further.
I can't help but look forward to the time we can maybe have our own place, or go on a little holiday somewhere, begin setting the foundations down to start a family...but if I ever go near one of those subjects I get a 'I don't know when I'll be getting money to do any of these things...' and although I'm aware we don't have much money right now, the idea is always nice. I miss having things to look forward to. It's difficult to know what to do at times like these. I feel such a sickness in my stomach when I even consider breaking up, but then, what am I holding on to? Do I really think he's going to change? Really, HE needs to want these things, not me making him feel like he has to. I want him to get a job, but I know he doesn't want to right now and if he does get one, it'll be my influence. He'll be doing something he hates with a 'I'm only doing this because she made me feel like I had to' attitude and I would hate that. But, most of the time, we get on really well. We laugh so much and we've been together so long now, it's like, I feel like I should hang on, just to see what happens. It's faith I suppose, and belief that maybe he'll mature and see things differently. Sometimes, I want someone to take care of me, and do things for me, and even if it isn't possible at the time, to make a plan of how to try and achieve goals...
'Ideally, you want the person who you're with, to be your soul mate.' My dad's words of wisdom. I like that I tell him about these things, eventhough I know he's not sure what to advise when I bring them up. It's just nice to know that I can share with him a little of what's on my mind. He's right though. I can't help but think of the part in Friends where Phoebe is in a relationship with Mike and before he moves in, tells her he never wants to marry again. They break up because she doesn't want to be in a relationship where they know they're never going to get married. I feel a little like that. Why stay in a relationship which I don't think will change? Surely there must be a guy out there who wants the same thing as me? But then, would we laugh as much? :( I hate this feeling, that creeps in. Particularly on my days off!