24.1.13

A dull life makes for dull things to talk about...

It's been a lil while since I last wrote an entry, and vented all my thoughts and worries. To be honest, I've actually not been too bad this week. Maybe it's the jogging? I make it sound like I'm training for a marathon, I mean, it's nothing on that scale at all! But this has to be the longest I've ever kept something like this going. The first time I did it, I felt so sick through the night, like my body was in some sort of shock! But it seems to be getting each time, that's how it should go though, isn't it? If you keep persisting, things have got to improve?
I look forward to seeing an improvement physically, although I'm sure that'll be a long time from now. But emotionally, I already feel the benefits. It's good to get out of the house, if only for half an hour and get some fresh air. It actually makes me feel like I've accomplished something with my day, after sitting for hours most of it.

I suppose getting fit has been on my mind mostly, and even now when I'm writing this I see joggers zipping by,makes me really want to get up and do it right now. I've been missing home quiet a bit,my brothers been doing lots of exams recently but it's always so much fun when we talk. It won't be long until he goes to Uni now,it's come along so quickly. It's daft, but I'm actually fearful that we might fall out of touch when he does. I mean,I won't let it happen! But I know what it's like after being there myself and all the new people you meet, family kinda goes to the back-burner for a while, as it's the first time you really experience independence. Egad,how quickly the novelty wears off though! In lots of ways I miss those times. I miss the opportunities I had back then, all these friends around me and constantly to,watching films, burning food, getting drunk and playing console games...so many times I wasted, so many memories I made laughing so much and sharing things I had never shared before. But I miss the times before those, to. And I log into Facebook and see people creating there own families and I know that now those times really are gone forever. As dramatic as it sounds, I really miss people, and friends. Or, the chances to make new friends. Because right now, I don't. I work in a shop on my own, where nobody comes in, hardly shows a face. I draw and watch (the ironically named) 'Friends' show to keep me sane. But Joe and me haven't got friends around here to meet up with here,aw,I want to move away and start all over again. For some reason I feel that getting a new job will make that all happen for me, but because I've not had the chance to get much experience it seems like it won't come along for a long while. I joined a website to meet new friends and things, but I just feel so young...all the people my age already have friends... :( Lonely times are boring times to read and write about,it's like I have nothing really going on anymore...I never used to be like this.But it's like if your with someone things are different. People start treating you as a couple, and people who are single don't really like to hang out with couple much...ah well. I should job hunt for things that won't even consider my degree, like a pub job or waitressing. At least that way it would use my customer service skills!!

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22.10.24

Trying to hold it together, trying hard not to cry. Nothing has happened, it's just I feel very overwhelmed. Tired, deeply tired, to my ...