I'm searching my mind of anything of note to write about.To be honest,there's not been much.
I have found, however, that when alone and when content with one's independent state, people seem to appear out of nowhere to accompany you.And it gives me hope.
Because recently,I felt a little disconnected from people.I find that in my general routines and job,I don't interact with as many fellow folk as I would like,and it actually makes me feel very sad.People love to complain about 'people' in general.All the stupid things they so and do and all their irritating tendencies...but lets be honest,the world would be so boring without others in it!
I love people. Despite the fact I find them at the best of times, rude, inconsiderate and ignorant.
I went home again for a flying visit.Home is not only full of familiar faces but also people who want to remain 'familiar' to me and I, well,not so much to them.
After much badgering,I thought well 'why not' and decided to pop home for a day but see him for a coffee in the morning for a bit.I knew that even though in some way he'd end up annoying me,he'd have a lot to say and I was in the mood to listen.So I got up early to make the most out of the day,to take a long train journey down to meet up at an old pub, not quiet the coffee I was expecting. I waited, earlier than the set time for a long time, half an hour passed with no messages or calls and I suddenly felt a slap in the face from reality saying - 'what are you doing? Why invite him back into your life?' to be fair, he was never a big part of it to begin with.But he was another one of these Ben characters who comes along saying they're not after much but actually push a massive force down onto my emotional well being, with controlling ways and the ambition to take up all of my free time and money. I felt bad letting him down in the past,so I texted him a final time to say I'd still be in town,if he were near,to let me know and I could meet him.Another half an hour went by, I chatted to a couple of friends, did a bit of Christmas shopping and realised that he was eating into my quality family time.He texted from an unknown number to wait at the pub still,he was on his way.I went back,to wait for another 15 mins when I had enough.I left the dreadful place, looked up the street to see him vaguely in the distance hug a blonde women goodbye and I quickly dashed across the road out of sight! After many apologetic messages I blocked him from my phone and vowed never to speak to him again.
Closure for me is quite rare.But god it feels so good when it happens!
I probably didn't need to write that out in such detail,but in time I'll forget all about him and it's these little things that happen in life that show that I do have a little bit of strength and CAN do the right thing sometimes!
Ah, the month of Christmas is upon us.I feel very excited about it,more than I thought I would be. I'm looking forward to the year of 2013 and what it may bring for everyone.I will hopefully get a new job,in London, which uses my degree creatively! and Joe will hopefully be heading in a positive direction along his career path,my brother will be going to Uni...lots of exciting things ahead.I hope it'll all work out for the best :)
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