I might start living again

Wrote my last entry on the move,which I'm still getting to grips with it must be said,technology n all that.I feel like a right square!Like when I hold a special piece of equipment of some kind,it shouldn't really be mine.Anyway.Just felt the need to update again,although nothing has really happened to encourage another post but it's great to be home again and get a bit of perspective on things,especially when I need to talk a few things through regarding jobs and whatnot.I don't feel as much pressure from one side as I used to,dad has always been supportive right from the word go but my mother has always had her reservations about things.Maybe it's the state of affairs now, or that I'm older, or if it's time in general that has elapsed and has made lifes little blows here and there a little softer.But either way,it's nice to have her a bit more on board with things these days although things haven't progressed an awful lot.Next week is the Fringe fest which will put my job hunting on ice for a week,but afterwards I hope to return with a more to give!I feel happy my CV is up to scratch,can always be bettered I guess,but I'm not embarrassed to send it out at least.I feel bad as tomorrow I'm shying away from going to London,which is silly as I know I should really just to show my face-dad said I should and his call is usually one to be relied on in situations like this,but I know when I get there it'll be a nod, minus £200 on a set of designs I don't like.I'd rather wait a couple of weeks to create some designs I really love.I hope they won't be annoyed but I hope they understand it's the financial side of things above anything else,I really don't have that sort of money to throw at things like this right now.So I'll email,or call and see what happens. It's not long until my 22...wow,that feels weird.I'm going to be 22! Crikey,where has it all gone,I reckon I started this blog when I was 18,oh,the occurrences over the past 4 years!Although I'm a little doubtful about things,I do feel a bit happier since leaving Uni and the north generally,I feel more at home and comfortable in my current surroundings.And although I'm not sure about what the future holds for my relationship,at least I'm having fun at the moment,I'm in no rush really,am I?Sometimes I wake up and feel the luckiest girl in the world.Other mornings,I'm not so sure.I'm not sure if that's because we've been together so long or because my tastes have changed and I want something else-or someone else.Maybe I can't let my past go?I do worry about that,it always seems to be on my mind and not really in the way it should,it should be guilt and believe me it's there,but there's also a tinge of something else.Something that just won't allow me to forget.It could still be curiosity,I mean I think of 22 being old,but there's still a lot of the world I need to see and so many people I'm still to meet.I guess although it's fun living together,I do feel a little be trapped in a way.I don't get a lot of personal time to get my head together and think,I also don't get time to go out and meet people and make friends.Things have been a bit hectic,it's not like we've been sat doing nothing,but it would be nice to meet some new people together.But it's still early days.Yawn,I should get some sleep.Let's hope tomorrow will be a good day.