'Won't you come pass time,lay your head on mine...'

'I'm pregnant' My friend turned to me with a nervous grin.I pretended to be overjoyed and excited for her but in actual fact I was expecting this day to come at some point,and knew the sadness I would feel as soon as the joyful news left her lips.I am happy for her and I truly believe she deserves everything that will make her feel happy,however my feelings are a little reserved for her partner,who,has changed her so much. But who am I to judge or assess a situation which to be quiet honest,is none of my business?I'm sure she'll make the most of every day and I hope she does.I'm just scared she's getting too excited too soon. I also felt a little odd on reflection on her achievements and confidence in her placement in life right now and my own.I wish I felt confident enough with my current situation to bring a new life into it...I just felt so young?I'm not sure that's quiet the word.But I'd love to have children,so much,but I don't think my financial situation would allow it plus living situation.It's something that I would ideally like to plan (but then again,when is the perfect time?) plus,I really want to give my career a good go first,but somehow I feel like my time is running out.So many people I was once close to are now mothers and I can't help but feel a little bit of envy,although they may not be creative as such or exploring the big city,they are discovering and learning wonderful new things every single day with the constant reward of a little being which you have formed.-I guess that's creativity to it's fullest! But anyway,these are silly thoughts in my mind,I mean I know when my time will be right.Plus,I have to deal with the now and the cards that I am dealt.I hope things will come together soon,especially this studio freelance job.It'll be a lot of investment for little reward to start with but hopefully in the long run it'll be worth it...so much going on,no time to gather all my thoughts together and make sense of it all!