'failure is angular,it's not circle shaped and every fucked mistake unmade...'

The sun has finally made an appearance this week,but its just not bringing me the joy I was very much hoping for.but then like most of the British public,I'm relying on the weather to condone my emotions. Today,I don't know where any of my confidence has gone.i feel scared and nervous about what this day will bring, and not only this day but this whole year. I'm really not sure of what I'm doing at all and whether the choices I'm making are the right ones and I'm unsure as to whether I'll end up doing anything creative in the long run-or if I'll be able to hack it.there are just too many people to let down in all of this,including myself. It's just,how am I going to pull anything together with no income?i guess I'm not alone in these concerns,but how is this going to pan out?how long can I keep this up?is any of it worth it anyway? Keep thinking of the past and where I could be now,which is stupid because nothing can change what has already happened...let it go.hopefully tomorrow will be better and I'll feel happier and hopefully the creative spark will be re-lit.