All change please.

And now it's all change. My brother,although we're still close,has grown up a great deal.Settling down into a relationship,going on holidays and planning his educated future,which of course is looking so bright for him.My dad is moving house,into a new place with his longterm girlfriend and my wonderful grandma,which appears it's achieving the impossible!Selling three houses to move into one,it's quiet unbelievable.It's a change that's filled with mixed emotions,this home holds lots of memories of our childhood and growing up.Where mum and dad divorced,I suppose that's a significant one,not pleasant,but the mark of another change and the growth of a deeper relationship with all my family.Something that could have thrown a wedge between us all made us pull closer together.But there's been a lot of fun,games creativity,music and laughter.It'll be sad to move on,although hopefully similar memories can be made in the new place.If all runs according to plan of course. I am also soon moving,which hasn't really sunk in for me yet.I'm still in Uni mode-a combination of stress and anxiety.Although it'll be sad not living the student life anymore,just surviving on loans and 'basics' foodstuffs and takeaway pizza,I think I'm ready to actually give my life some direction,and get on with being a proper adult.I've known and got close to many people in the past 4 years,but then you've got to look at who you're left with now and the significance of that.I've grown up a lot,what with first year creating this blog-filled with a terrible,emotional bullying relationship soon turning into logs of day to day thoughts,leading onto into the stresses that was placement year,money worries and family concern...leading into betrayals.I should stop thinking about it,but it still haunts me.Maybe haunts isn't the right word.I regret it,yet still want to be in those times,still want to be in those moments,although confused and entangled in my wrong-doing,I grew so,so fond of the people involved.I should be bitter,I should be 'haunted'.But the fact that I'm not makes me wonder whether me and Joe are really meant to be together.I'm excited for our future,and the idea of living together will be much fun.But will it last the long run?Will we outgrow each other,will my curiosity overtake me once more? I guess nobody knows! Starting again will be good for me.Getting away,living in a new town,throwing myself in the deep end should hopefully help me to start seeing things more clearly.I hope I can get a job,and get a career started to.Trying to work on a website and a new CV,fingers crossed it'll help me get to where I want to be. This week is my final show,and then I'm taking it all down.I think that's when it'll feel real.