'you firefly, a tiny boat with all, further on the world tilts back and poison pours...'

I love firework night.For me,it seems to have an air of romanticism about it,people all over the country staring with awe and smiles up at the nights sky,the smell of firewood drifting through the air,the crackling fire creaking and snapping away.I've always loved it,and it always seems to have such fond memories attached to it,times when i've been in someone's caring arms-be it my dads as a small girl,or a past boyfriend when things were fresh,new and exciting.It also reminds me of times where I memorably remember feeling excited for so many exciting things to look forward to in the future.Times when me and my old friends sat round a dangerously constructed fire at the bottom of her garden with marshmallows and cheap vodka,giggling about boys and talking about horror movies...aw,magical,memorable times. I wonder if this year will be the same.I wonder who i'll be spending it with,if spending it with anyone.I know this time last year I only admired the wonders of colours in the sky through a train home from London,but at least I still saw them.Ah,i'm not sure,I can't decide. I've come back from a friends,which was so nice.We get on so well,we just don't see enough of each other unfortunately!Even when on the same course.It was so lovely to see her and for one,get away from the house,but also tell her what's been on my mind.We always have catch up sessions of that sort,where we both unload our troubles onto each other in turn for much needed ears and advise.She's great for advise as she's so unbiased,honest and true.She's been through a lot and had a lot of life experience,so I like to hear her outlook on things.But she has said the same as many other people I know,to break it off or suggest the idea of a break,see how it makes me feel....she said I should see C tomorrow as a test,to put myself into the situation and see how he acts and how I react.I'm not sure though,it could be a good idea or one that leaves me feeling so guilty...ah well.I'll just see how I feel tomorrow and make up my mind then.Maybe i'll do neither and go to the park and spell my name in the air with sparklers and watch the sights on my own! hehe. --Thank you to Rex venom for your lovely comment,and taking the time to read my monotonous post,it really meant such a lot :)