I feel awful for the wrongs I have made in the past couple of months as they were so completely and utterly out of character...which is why I'm afraid that i'll go ahead and make the same mistakes again.
There's still a pull I feel towards him and I wish I didn't.The curiosity of living the fantasy.A fantasy and a curiosity I know would jepadise my future with you,which would destroy me-wreck my life,wreck yours to...everything would change for the worse.I know that full well.So why do I feel a pull towards him more?There are times I wish I had never met him,never went to that place,never wondered about him or made the effort to talk to him...and yet I learnt so much.About myself,about decision making,about life.And you will never know about it.The hurt I felt,the pain I felt,the utter stupidity!Which I am thankful for.But I feel awful every day.
I don't know what to do if this happens again,maybe to be more honest,but for what cause?What good would it do?Make you worry is all.And that would be terrible.

A fantasy is what it should be and what it will be.