I thought it had been a fair while since I'd last properly updated,it's been a while since I had the time to mull things over.Not that anything new has really occured,it's just nice to let things out.
We're on the home stretch now,it's a countable number of days.I know all days are countable,though this is now a period of under twenty days,it's believable and I can almost taste it.And that feels so good.I think I may miss it a little bit,occasionally,I do have a day and it's okay.And very very occasionally I enjoy the journey there,it gives me a sense of independence and identity, overlooking other peoples busy lives and being apart of theirs if only for a matter of seconds.It makes me feel like the 'old me' where I realise there's not a great deal stopping me from just talking to anyone,trying to find out what they're doing and how they're feeling.There is a rule on public transport in London to never talk with anyone.If you do,people will assume you're trying to have a fight.Not that i've personally experienced it,although surrounding passengers appear intrigued as to why two persons may be trying to talk and maybe even laugh. It's funny these little systems and routines we get into without actually speaking of them.
Work lately has been a little bit more interesting,and it's pretty how ironic this is,counting down the days whilst actually enjoying the day and getting to know the people there.Now i'm in a bit of a better position than I was before,I seem to be getting a little bit more respect from others and it's as though people are making a bit more of an effort.
I enjoy this refreshingly new sensation of my old self creeping back in as I smile,and talk and get a little bit giddy. It doesn't mean anything,though it's a sensation i've not felt in a long while.I guess I kinda miss it,it's not something I feel often.It's not even important,it just makes a big difference and I get a real buzz from it.Only me with admit this,nobody else will know.I do hope I get the chance to talk like we did before,that was amazing.
It's nice to get close,nice to know that people you wouldn't assume take an interest.It's been a while,it's been a while.And,I don't feel at all guilty.This is just an innocent little feeling I used to get a long time ago which is satisfied.Nothing more.
Ah,Listening to City and Colour feels so good.I realise how much I miss listening to the music I used to a few years ago.Some of it,well,most of it is laboured and lame however there will always be a bit of me that needs to hear it once in a while to take me back to the days where I had less responsibility and much more fun.There were some really good times,there were more bad times where I was so sad,confused and lost.But there were some amazing times that I will never forget.The surprise gigs,the late nights drinking rum and coke,watching bad comedy films in hotel rooms...it was so new,I thought it was so racy,so satisfying.To be honest,they were the only good times out of the whole thing,the rest was always tainted.I wonder if he'll remember them to.I'm not that fussed at all anymore,I hardly think about those times anymore,they were so long ago and I'm so much happier and comfortable now.But this album brings it all back,and I learnt such a lot.I probably wouldn't be the person I was to this day without it all.
I'm looking forward to the new year.I've got a good feeling about it.
I've been thinking a lot about Uni also,it's a fair way off yet,but it'll be great to get back into it again.I wonder who I'll end up living with in the final year...I wanted to live with Joe,but then it would have been a bit stupid really as it's a bit of a big deal,plus,it'll be a really intense year and it'll put so much pressure on us both.It wouldn't be a great idea.I want to try so hard in my final year,I know I can do it,so I'm just going to bleedin well try!
Bring it on.
I'm going to be so revived and ready to go!
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