Can't imagine it getting any better,but who knows,maybe it will...

I'm feeling pretty lame today.As in,my skin doesn't really feel like mine,I don't feel as fresh minded as I usually do,my body feels run down and my back-burner is fuelled with worry.-Like always,really.But today it seems to be more apparent.
I worry such a lot,about not a lot.I guess it takes a while for things to catch up with me,and my body is always the first to suffer.I think that's responsible for why I'm a little low in most aspects.Money is also a concern.
But what's new here?On this occasion?Not a lot,lets be honest.This is how I usually feel and it's also pretty often my body highlights the consequences to a fast-paced life.I want to get used to it though,because sometimes,I enjoy the fast-paced ride.
I miss friends.I miss those close to me.I don't know why,but today I feel more distant from my family than ever.They're constantly talking about things I don't know about-be in capitals of countries or economics-don't get me wrong it's interesting and I love to listen,I just feel a bit stupid not being able to contribute.Listening is probably enough,I don't have much feeling towards either of those things and my points would be ignored or soon glossed over.That's ok.
Feeling sorry for myself,as you can probably tell.Everything's getting a dose of it though,even the things I'm usually confident in,not today,not right now.There's always something that pops up to remind me that I can't ever let my guard down.And when those times come it just adds more to the ever growing list of worry and concern.Today I need home,and home is up north and I miss him so much.I can't keep saying,I can't keep pestering him even,I need to be cool about it all but in truth i'm finding the whole thing very hard and I don't want to do another two months of it.I hate not being able to fund it myself.I mean,it's unavoidable,but I still don't like knowing that and also don't like that it's not something I can do anything about.Everyone else at that place is full of enthusiasm and confidence...I'm not one of those people.I'm too tired by the time I get there.
What have I let myself in for?
...why.
I need another weekend to get myself together,relax and let it unload.I can't imagine getting any better,but who knows,maybe it will.