Reassurance.

An explosion of much needed tears escaped me today,when I least expected it.
I don't know why.
Always when I think i'm doing ok,something just tips me over the edge and I feel pathetically helpless and upset.It's not fair on anybody becuase I can't share this with anyone.They'll ask whats the matter and I'll say,I don't know.

Sometimes,I need a bit of reassurance.I need to know that all the effort I put in is not wasted or being taken for granted.I know you do,but sometimes it's really nice to hear it or,hear it being said back.It would be nice if I felt you missed me as much as I missed you,even if it is a bit silly.I would love it if I could tell you everything that may be bothering me but I still don't feel we're at that stage.
When you looked at me today I felt that you weren't really interested.I realised that,when i'm a lil bit tired and unable to be as sharp or witty,we both say nothing and it's actually a bit awkward.And when I did have something interesting to say you interrupted it with something completely boring and off topic.It really put me out.I wanted to disconnect. I got so overwhelmed.I'm trying very hard to battle a few very strong emotions in my mind and then you act as if you don't really give a damn,it's just a lil too much...sometimes,I feel very alone.I guess it upsets me that you don't ask when you know there's something wrong-or maybe you just don't know when I am.
Maybe i'm just very hard to read.
But either way,at the moment,I just need a little more reassurance.