I feel too grown up and adult.I know it's times like these you learn and grow but I still feel sixteen inside and am reluctant to letting it go.But then,I need to get my act together and sort things out becuase nobody else will.
I love the house though,and it was a good day all in all.I was to pleased that dad was there,otherwise I just wouldn't have been able to do it all alone,it just wouldn't be possible.I'm scared of all things I need to sort on Monday,the water,gas,electric,internet,tax-the list is endless.But for now,i've got the weekend to unpack and enjoy.

Just so much to do,so much left hanging over my head.But,this is all good.I'm doing things I've never done before that will hopfully shape me into a more confident indervidual.I feel lonely though,being the one left to do all this sorting.But hopefully it'll all go okay tomorrow.

I miss having a personal internet,I hope to get that sorted out soon.This entry has been spread over two days in different trips to the libary.I feel sad to be here,amoung those finishing disserations and adults typing up important documents.And there I am on ebay,looking for nice dresses to buy.
I'm looking forward to the weekend so I can at least see Joe.I keep telling myself to get used to this,being apart stuff but I do miss him a great deal.Maybe it's becasuse a proper routine still hasn't been put in place yet.All the same,even a day or two apart and I feel saddened in side.I didn't think I used to be clingy,but I suppose it's times like these I think differently.It's not that i'm worried-I trust him with all my heart.I think the distance thing will work,and I believe we will see a fair bit of each other before I start work in September.I look forward to working,at the moment,I'm just watching dvds on my laptop.And it's pretty sad.

I kinda did a bad thing before I left...I read Joe's notebook thingie.We both bought blank note books to fill with whatever we liked,and he got it to write wonderful lyrics in for his band.While he was packing things away I just saw it there and looked through he's cartoons he did-then it got to writting and I just couldn't stop myself.However,he read this!Which is far more personal and a bigger deal-so in my head,we're even haha.I won't tell him though,I didn't discover anything bad,it was actually rather sweet.As he doesn't really talk about his emotions an awful lot it was nice to read it.Comparing our relationship to a hot air balloon but with feet firmly on the ground.He's so mature,so much more so than me.He makes me feel almost childish and hastey,over analysing things and sending too long-a-text too frequently.But he likes it,and I know if there were anything wrong he would tell me.I feel bad though,becuase I probably wasn't meant to read it.Though I hope one day he will tell me these things in his own time.
I suppose i'm used to the idea now that we won't talk about every single thing.And at the end of the day,who does?And anyway,lots of things are left better left unsaid and the lil secrets everyone keep make us who we are.But being a slushy romantic girl and all that,it would be nice to know these things,and get all giddy about.But then again,how much do I tell him?I tell him about my day but rarely about deep depp feelings becuase I guess I think he knows about them all already.Maybe I'll make him something and give it to him when I see him.
Yes,in fact I'll do that tonight.It'll be nice to have something to do,anyway.
Yes,tomorrow is going to be stressful and probably fruitless bill sorting and all that caper.I wish Stev was here so I don't have to do it all alone.But,then again,it's all experience and I know that if I have any problems,i've got people I can talk to.There is just so many things I don't know yet.
I'm worried I'll do something wrong.
I know though,if I at least make some enrodes,it's better than nothing and I'll at least feel like i've done something to make it all better.
I miss my friends.
And I miss home,to.
I don't know when I'll be coming back home.I hope it's soon.
I hope Joe will visit soon.