'They say what doesn't kill us is what makes us who we are'

It feels like a while since i've written a blog with a fairly clear head.
It seems in previous entries i've been really angry and fuled with worry.I mean,I am still worried about various things but they're currently on the back-burner while I put on my old favourite songs playing Pokemon red.Everything will be ok in the pokemon world!

I think it's just everything and everyone in my face the whole time,uni is just so fast paced and so much is asked of you,more than people tend to let on really.A lot of the time I do make more fuss than required as i'm too tired or annoyed at other things that aren't a big deal.Time has gone by and people have changed so much.And I still feel the same.On the whole,I mean.There are days I feel changed and feel like things have made me view things differently,but on the whole i'm still the same Phoebe.

I'm going home in three days for a lil under a week,so it'll be nice to go away for a but just to go home to return again.I like to see my brother and catch up on things.It saddens me i'm not there more really,and hear what things he gets up to-even the small details of his day that I used to enjoy when I were younger.But we keep in contact enough to fall back into out old ways when I return.I look forward to when he gets older as I think we'll become even closer good friends.
I'm going to try not to worry to much when I tell mum my plans for the next year.Last time I felt on the understanding I wouldn't have enough money to live up here on the loan that I get,but it turns out (with some help from dad,) that I can afford it.This means I can look for jobs up here,possibly get a transfer from work to here for extra money,and maintain my relationship with Joe and close friends here.
Once upon a time I would have laughed at a girl in my situation,and tell her to stay home to save money and get good jobs in London,not worry about the relationship at all.But it's just so far from that,I don't want that to happen one bit.Three months will be hard enough,but then I believe we'll be ok,and Joe does to,so hopefully that will be enough to keep it together.I'm going to try not to worry because,it shows.And when it shows he'll worry and then we'll just go all awkward and crumble and it'll all go terribly wrong.If we're meant to last,then we will last.
And i'm just going to make the most of the time we have together now,and the time I have in general.I was making my self ill with the worry!

On wednesday me and Stev are going to look at a house,and i'm excited about it as it sounds pretty cool.I just want to know that I have something for next year.Then I can look for jobs,and then everything will be fine!Viewing flats and things is fun though,just can't help but get a bit attached to some places and they quickly go.

I will update this later.
I need to do some art!