One for sorrow...

I suppose this is where the secret keeping begins.I never thought i'd ever think it.
Recently,in fact,this weekend has been our worst weekend.I know i'm a big part of why that is-my general mood,and probably the way I react to things this time around.But,I feel like i've had to face a fair bit.
Last night,I met a couple of his friends from home.One of them a very close friend.I was nervous,and again didn't feel like going out,but when he text and said they were in a pub not far away,I thought it rude not to join them for a drink.
They were nice people,a lil akward,but nice.I was just myself and tried to make them smile and laugh,I think it worked.One drink turned to two,then three,then I had no money left in my purse.It was a rather nice evening truth be told,until on the way back to mine to wait for a taxi,one of them said something so rude.
'so,when did you stop with that girl you were on about from upstairs?'
My heart just sunk.I knew who he was talking about.And sure,it was from a fair while ago and theres no threat of her now,they're good friends,she's with someone else and very very much in love yada yada...but,he hadn't heard anything about me since then?Since all those months ago?
He could have been drunk and forgot.
But the whole evening he was talking to me,oftern surprised by the answers I gave that were of 'no,I haven't met his mother or brothers yet,' As though,I was rather alien to him.
I just went cold,and my hand in joes hand went limp.
I knew he knew I was upset by it,but then,what could he have said-or what can he say to make it better?It's just a clanger,and I need to move on from it and not be offended.It just hurt.
^ and that is the secret.That is what I will not tell him,becuase it would upset him to and we may probably argue.
I don't want that.
I just hope I don't hear it again.

I just don't feel i'm worth as much as I think I am to him sometimes.It's times like that I feel it's really one sided,on my part.
I really hope next week will be better than this,becuase I hate feeling this way.

=[ big time right now.