It occured to me today,sitting surrounded by babbling excitable girls,battling to get words in edge-ways that although scary at times,these are times to be truely enjoyed.
Saying out loud 'I don't know what I want to do...' seemed to let such a lot go,alot came off my shoulders.I don't realise what pressure I put on myself.
It's times like these where,I don't know whats going to happen.what the next year will hold in store for me,and thats exciting.The unpredictablity is what makes this all so amazing.And I shouldn't be panicing,or wishing it away like I was before.
I took a look at myself in the mirror some moments ago,and felt my familiar old smile return.I really do feel like 'me' that was me a couple of years ago,when I was filled with such ambition and...joy.It sounds quiet cheesy,(though I have been pumped for the past 2 hours with 'Love Actually' which is just corny through and through,)it's true.Although I get phases during the day of being a bit irratated with myself,inside I'm smiling and I feel so happy and excited.And I don't even know why.And I just love it.I love this,and I want this to last.
He means everything to me.already.
And in my mind,I'm fearing i'm becoming so attatched and it's still early days,but the fact of the matter is I just love every ounce of him.And he just makes me feel so giddy and silly.Clumsy yet endearing.It's all worth it,if it were to be taken away from me,I'd still smile knowing he's made me feel like this.
And it's goofy,and probably rather frightening for him.And yes,i'm worried about next year and the future,but i'd do anything to make this strong and last.
But everything happens for a reason.
And,really,there may not be a tomorrow.So,I'm just going to soak this up and enjoy everything right this very moment.
And hope...that i'll feel like this everyday!!
haha
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