I guess I feel rather naked,knowing that some of these entries have written.I feel almost childish and ashamed,and can't imagine what somebody new would make of such poor thoughts,cobbled together in such a dramatic way.I usually feel sick when I do myself,thinking I over-exagerate and ramble on about the same things all the time.
There is always a part of me that wants the subject to read what I really feel,think and such.But,I guess I will tell them when i'm ready to.
And the more I waffle on about the plain old same old,the more it appears I care to much...I really want him to know he has nothing to worry about.

The whole dealio brought out alot of goodness,it has to be said.I still daren't read back my past entries as I know that he did.But hopefully,he'll forget all about it.

I feel lots of things have happened recently,and yet when I go to write it all out I go a bit blank.I think work is stressing me ouyt more than I let on that it ay be,I'm just determined to not let myself down and get to caried away with things.And theres my money situation to.I hate money.I don't like having it becuase i'm very aware that I can't manage it effectively,so I spend it on rubbishy things that arn't good for anything.
I'm also feeling really rather self-conscious.I'm not sure why.It comes over me in waves,and randomly to.
Rwcently,and i'm ashamed to admit this,I feel guilt when I eat.I like my body more when I can feel my hip bones,but at a particular time of the month my body changes slightly and I just hate it.I hate myself in everything I wear,but I just get so irritable without much food.I just can't get it off my brain that I need to slim down more.I think it's sily,I don't think i'm over weight but I'm so damn consious of it.
It makes me feel really ugly.And that leaves me feeling un-motivated and irritable.
=[

But there are so many things going on in my life that I should be happy about,I want and need to focus on them.Not these silly little thoughts.I can't let them go out of hand.I'm going to try not to dwell.

I think this will be my last entry in a long while.