For that I am rediculous.

"Have I been a bad friend to you?"
"I just feel like I could have been alot better over the past few weeks."

Why does he do this?Why does he always realise when it's to late and the damage has been done.Maybe it's becuase he's scared.Or maybe so used to me taking everything in my own way,silently and appologising when i'm weak and just want out.
It's all so terribly wrong,and eventhough I call him a close person to me,I can never tell him how I truely feel in fear of how he will react.And yet,my heart is still with him,and it frustrates me how it'll never be the same way.I know he cares for me otherwise he wouldn't bother at all,but it's not enough to hold his attention.I guess i've got to rememeber that this is where the age difference seems to have control now.
I know he's sorry,I know he'll always be sorry.
But,it won't change the saddness I can't shift-maybe it's the fact that he's...someone who upset me so much,maybe he's someone who makes me feel like I failed.That I couldn't make feel happy.It's dissapointment in myself when I see him as a person who couldn't feel better in my company,always so very bitter.

You do this every single time.
And,I FEAR that I will forgive you every single time.

And for that I am rediculous.