Why is it,when you find yourself at a peak,the next day it all seems to fall again.Well,nothing has really fallen but,well my mood and patience has.
I've in that state of,caring yet realising it's such an extent it's almost funny to laugh at the state of things.I sit,I listen and CANNOT BELIEVE THE DIS-RESPECT.Okay,people don't have any idea.I don't ever let on,but i want them to hear themselves and think...'wait a minuet?'.Everyone seems to be doing it around me,so much so I wonder if I'm wrong here being to harsh.how can i be calling myself harsh when they will never know?
It's just,making me numb.And thats not really me,I realise how easy it is to be someone else...how easy it is to just go along with everything when really,I AM screaming and I am NOT happy with the words and gossip that spill out of that venomous mouth.
They are the winners really.becuase they are eating away at me,they taint my visions and make me believe certain things.It's kinda why i'm looking forward to going back to uni so much,so escape it all.And truely start over again,so I genuienly don't care becuase i'll be leading a different life.But I fear that as I grow more excited,it won't happen.That life won't be mine,it'll still be a glimmer on the horizon.While they still rub it all in,i'll be looking out,and turning everso sad with every time I try to smile.

I know i'm being dramatic,but they are being unfair.
And I hate not being able to grow the balls to actually speak my mind.I know full well i'd get more respect that way,but it's just,the fear of making people feel out of place or uncomfortable.So i guess i'll just eep chugging along with the feeling that this isn't my future carrer,and i'm better than these people and I can rise above it all.
One day.
=[

on the up side,he's popped up to say heya with a smile.And that has actually made me grin.