Secret domination...

I regret not loving myself,or appriciating myself enough before all this unpleasantness seaped in.I think if I had paid more attention to my own needs,listened to my body and not my heart I would be far more stable now.I would deal with my problems in an adult way,I would be more likely to express my emotions quiet freely in front others,instead of this portraying an air of bland calm,when inside i'm screaming at the top of my lungs.

I regret recognising these things when it's far to late.Changes now would be to long drawn out,and drag even more people into it,and I hate upsetting people,especially if it's not my intention.I regret not having my hope and beliefe in myself to change,for just assuming that it'll always be like this.

It would be so easy for me to blame all my problems on you,and to an extent I do regret letting you in my life.I fell for you instantly,not only your attractiveness but your lies aswell.I possibly believed the lies more than your image.I regret not being stronger at the start,and listening to my own advise I write over and over again.But I was foolish and thought that you would be different,you wouldn't be like the others.I regret not advising others that,if you're gut is telling you one thing,but your heart another-listen to your gut EVERY time.Even if it makes you feel sick.

I don't think I could have met someone so awful.I was once a very happy person who were confident about life,love and all the things that life threw at me.They say that 'you can oly deal with problems you're given' and I believed that.Now I don't.I believe that you're given problems to wear and break you down.And you,are succeeding every time you shoot me a piercing eye.

I regret not being able to see you for who you really are.I'm falling for what I want you to be,what you could be if you'd stop being so immature.I know I don't need a weight like you on my shoulders,but unfortunatly it's done now,and you always will be.I made the mistake of feeling sorry for you once,and now you think i'll always be there for that.

It would be silly of me to say that,I regret all the tears that you made fall,becuase it was my fault I let them.It was my fault I ever talked to you,longed for you,went back for more.It was my fault I let you make me do things to please you,make me feel like i'm absolutely nothing.And it's my fault I still wonder how things will turn out.That I still cry,that I fear I won't be able to be free from any of this,that I'm trapped in my body of unhappiness,that i'm sure one day you will be the death of me.I regret that I'm letting you be that to me.You are stopping me from seeing my once bright future.You have won.And yet,you don't even have me.

I regret feeling that one day,I want you to regret all of this.Regret the change you've made me go through for you,and how I'm not going to be able to come out the otherside.And I bet in some twisted way,you're getting satisfaction out of that.

I should have left when I had the chance.I should have listened to my gut.It's to late now,it's all too late.

Female,19