"Everything looks so perfect from such great heights..."

It's 10pm on a friday night,and i'm in bed,tucked up to the sounds of an on-the-brink mp3 player that cost me next to nothing and aggression,and the thoughts and wonderings of my mind.I really don't mind I'm not doing anything social this evening,I feel in the mood to ponder and concentrate on myself.With someone out,I feel my real self creaping in all the while,and this I am welcoming.
Obviously,some days i'm not going to enjoy being incased in this body,and all it's flaws.But recently,I've been accepting them.And that makes me discover new things that I love about myself.I feel my tendancy to dwell is decreasing every time I spend time with a real friend,one who brings back good old memories and reminds me of why I love life.It still annoys me how,I spent so much time and emotion on someone in particular who,didn't give me anything back-apart from lessons learnt and alot of mending to do.
But i'm not one of these people who enjoys carrying excess weight around,passing it on to others.There isn't any point,there is so much in life to be enjoyed and savoured-why waste that good time on silly things that won't come to anything?It's all a waste of energy.And I should be using that energy on more important,creative things.

I'm off on holiday tomorrow.Leaving on a jet plane,getting away from things for a while.I am looking forward to it,eventhough it's come up very quickly and I don't feel very prepared.
I suppose I am a little big concerned about spending alot of my time with my own thoughts,as it's one of relaxation,there will be plenty of reflection and i'm worried that i'll go round and around in circles and make myself feel sad.But hopefully the sunshine will help me feel more posietive.I don't want to make him wrewin a nice holiday.
I hope I come back nice and brown.I like my body browner.
I hope I like my body alot more.I'm always comparing. =[
It'll be nice to be with my dad and brother for a while to.My brother has grown up such alot recently,I feel it'll be really good to have some adult chat and hanging out together.I look forward to that part anyway!hehe.

I shall be writting alot though.
And it will be a journal of me growing up.A mature,happy look to my new life-new leaf turning n' all :)

Yay!