It's safe to say,you just can't beat going with the flow.I always find that when on holidays and the like,I realise how much of an idiot i've been when putting myself under so much pressure.I'm sure one day,it'll be the death of me!
It's so nice to be home again.By this stage,three days in,I'm itching to get back to inderviduality,living up north,but i'm actually really enjoying the home experience.Apart from all the work worry,its all kinda turned out alright!
I dont want to be jumping ahead of myself,hopefully it'll be a pleasant few months.

I did a bad thing though,I let myself down and I wasn't strong.I wasn't even sure it was what I wanted.I mean,we always call what we have a friendship.but then,I dont think i'll ever see him as that.And I think he'll always hurt me more than a friend ever could.I let him though,I tell myself that he's worth it.
And one day,he'll find someone new and it'll hit me deep inside and I don't know what to think or feel,none of this has ever happened to me before.But,I'd much rather know where I stand.as i know i'm just waiting on him,to tell me the state of things.

I saw Mark yesterday.And it was great becuase,he's just so entertaining.He put in a lot of effort to keep me happy and interested,I met his family,watched some interesting films,had a couple o beers,and I had a really pleasant time.But,I just couldnt let myself go.I didnt want him to make me feel anything...becuase i felt someone else were in his place...

I really want this to go away.I really want this to be certain,not just...a comforting time passing.

I seriously need to sort my life out.