So,I'm feeling a little bit better about things now.I feel like inner battles have subsided for a little while.I can look at myself in the mirror and not revolt,I can go on facebook and not fear what I may find.I can talk to ex's and not get jelous.I can eat what I want to eat and not feel quilty.I can look forward to the summer,and wonderful things to come.
I am really looking forward to going home.I feel like this year has ended nicely,well,nearly nice.I don't know if my minds made up about many matters,but i'm generally feeling better.I'm looking forward to spend time with friends and family.
though,there are things to happen before then,which could make things better or worse.But theres a festival,which has been planned for a couple of weeks now,and Ben is staying for a couple of days.I'm not going to lie to myself here,I can't wait to see him.
But,i'm not sure if it's love I feel for him anymore.Maybe we can just be friends.
We'll see.
Aw.Memories.I'm glad I have them.One day,I'll try and write the best ones down.The ones that have had the hugest impact on my life.I'm thinking,about a time where something occured and,it made me stop and think.Want to change,do things differently,one of those times in your life where you want to change everything...I don't think I have one really.Well,there have been so many things I have learnt,ohhh how my heart has grown so heavy in the past,all these people who enter your life and be such a dominating force,take you over,and then...leave.People do always tend to leave.You can't regret these things,and I don't think I do.I just hope I dont make the same mistakes again,and end up upset and hating myself.
I don't like that at all.I don't like being wound up with myself,becuase it seems to take so much time for me to sort it all out.If it's somebody or something,it seems to be solved quicker.But when it's me,ah I don't know.
I just need to focus on the things that really matter :)
And hope for the best.
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