"Well I'm sick and i'm tired,of always being the good guy..."

Yes I'm in need of a good empty head time.
Don't get me wrong...i'm happy for everyone.It just seems to be everyone but now me.I'm the outcast again.But then,i suppose it's like old times again,and I managed things last time,so what makes this time any different?I guess last time I gained an anormous sense of well being,I tried to find who I really was,what I really wanted.It seems like society rubbs in your face all the while what should make you happy,and what things you should want in life,and i've constantly been surrounded by people who's only real interests are that of money and fame,so one can't help to let it rub off onto them.Which is wrong.
So yes.
Theres alot I need to sort out in my busy head.
I've finally stopped worrying and thinking about Ben.Finally he's sunk in enough,it's all-the horrible situation has melted into my veins and I can't stand to be apart of it anymore!I know i'm being dramatic,but it's finally made sense to me and i'm fed up of looking like the idiot the whole time.I am worth so much more than this,and the image I once had when I look at myself in the mirror has been damaged by what he's put me through physically and emotionally.I suppose I let him in all fairness,and a large amount of the time I knew it were happening-going against what everybody said thinking it wouldn't ctach up with me...but my body is more wise than my mind,and finally I can't take anymore of the stress.
So this is me...letting go.
I'm just going to stcik to the things I love,the joy and wonder of not knowing whats waiting around the corner for me.I'm going to do what i do best,listen and help out my friends as much as I can,and fully devote myself to my studies that I worked so hard to get at,that I could so easily throw away.This is what I want.And in my spare time i'm going to make things,I am going to make pieces to sell too,ready for the summer I am going to make a collection of pieces to put up and sell.I am actually going to do it!
I'm going to let myself be inspired,and i'm going to go with the flow.I'm going let myself pour out of me,and i'm going to finally smile with radience!knowing I don't have anybody to hold me back,hold me down and eventually bring me down.
Nobody is worth that.
I've got the summer to look forward to now.

"Thats what you get when you let your heart win..."

It's time for new beginnings.