Reflections.Bitter,Bitter Reflections.

I've banned myself again from checking social networking sights,that drag me down,with everyones attmept at rubbing in how amazing there lives are,and how much you can't be apart of it,becuase no,you're not mentioned in the titles,and no,you're not photographed in the albums...yes,this is going to be bitter and twisted.Becuase i'm in one of those bitter and twisted moods where everything looks horrible and nothing feels right.Its one of those days where things have been tried and everything has failed,it's one i've been dreading and still am living in that poisonous,venumous state,where people look the other way and friends who once were are tangled up in theire pathetic little problems.
I'm surrounded,by idiots.
People who are clearly stupid,but there arrogance and desberate attmepts to impress and out-do every being around them swarm me and make me feel inadiquate.I don't want to try anymore,and prove myself otherwise.I don't want to paint on a smile in the moring,just to plough through another load of crap.
coming home is wonderful,but at the same time i'm slammed back into the confused state I were once before,the yerning to get out has returned in under a week of this sad,sad town and the stupid people who corrupt it.
Where the sun shines but people hide,moan and complain.They linger and pretend.
I just hate pretending that I like the people who clearly don't like me.I am NO THREAT WHATSOEVER.And she can stop trying to be what she isn't.I dont care about her,and I don't care that she makes you angry.Her having that effect on you means that you still care for her,and I don't want to know that.
SO FUCK off out of my face.And keep going on about you're little life,crammed in the same hole you've been in so long,with your expensive clothes and little smirk,you're sarcastic tones...you're not going to leave it becuase it's grown apart of you now and it's to heavy to lift.You'll always be surrounded by the people you hate becuase you've grown to get used to it and face the fact that YOU'RE SCARED and are AFRAID of looking PATHETIC.
One day,in the not so distant future,I hope you'll see me and you'll wish you'd tried harder.Wish you'd climbed on my lil raft,to bob along to the dreams and ambitions we once pictured.Becuas eventually I will get there,where you'll stand on the sideline and tell me i'm watsing my time,and the way it should be done,but i'll be persistant and,hope to come out better.Although you annoy me so much,I still want you to want me,so I can turn you down and burn you deep to you core as you've done to me so many times before...i hope you're happy.

don't rubb it in.
don't tell me.
becuase i don't want to know.

not anymore.