Okay.
Angry phase moment,probably just my nsides playing havock with me.Lack of everything taking its toll.Maybe i'm just enjoying the rant,enjoying having him to be angry at.
I can see in all ways,how he affects me,in such terrible terrible ways.And yet,I still let him in.I still let him take control of me even when I actually have complete control over him-simply turn off the phone,block him from all social networking sights,and there I am.A free person,to do whatever I want.But I don't want to,and when I try I feel terrible and take it all back.Find a way to forgive him.The fear makes me feel like,I have to be this way.I'm just so afraid of him hating me.He's not a nice person when he's angry,he could turn people against me...
I deserve so much better.But i know my frame of mind wont get me anybody new,if anything it'll force them all away.Which isn't a cool look.
It's stupid really,but I just want to find that attractive lovely guy to take me into his life.Make Ben kick himself for all he put me through.And see...what I deserve.
but thats selfish of me.And I wont talk of it again,becuase it's wrong of me.
=[ sorry.
Be grateful for what you've got.
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