the come down.

yes,I've calmed down since earlier.maybe its becuase i know he feels bad and is now worried about me.I don't know.He asked me whether I still wanted to be with him and i said yes impulsively.and yet,theres a lil piece of my mind saying...and then get loads more of this crap?seriously now?
I don't know though.Ben feels different to any other guy i've been with before.Hes very hard work indeed,and he really needs someone to pick up his spirits and help make him feel happy and alive,and I could do that.I don't know why,and he'd hate it if he knew,but he's needy ness and lack of seeing his true colours makes him strangely attractive.I mean,I've always found him very attractive,in more ways than one.But even his opinionated nature makes me melt inside,as well as annoying me.I don't know,it's becuase I know in lots of ways he's right.I do need to change-blimey,it was what I was on about for so long for the past 6 months,then he came along and I forgot about myself.
I know I am frustrating,I know that.but it's me,I shrugg it off and blame it on myself and that i've alwyas done it-not anymore.That is going to change.I'm not going to do those frustrating things anymore.He's asking me to be me,yet change-CONFUSING INDEED,but,I need to know where to begin.
And thats always on webcam and silly things where I get nervous and such.that I need to change.